- First Dates Can Be Fun!
At first glance, you think, "You've got to be kidding." But watch the show. The funny thing is, you can nearly immediately figure out why they are single. There is typically some glaring flaw that the single millionaire doesn't see in himself. As the viewer, it's easy to see. The dating mistakes men make...
But that's the benefit of NOT being the one on display. It's easy to see the flaws in others, but we live with ourselves. We know why we do the things we do. We have REASONS why we do the things we do.
And sometimes these relationship mistakes are stopping us from getting what we really want.
In this case, Mr. Right.
The Top 10 Dating Mistakes to Avoid on Your First Date...(or many dates, actually)
- Put Your Cell Away: And don't look at it Everyone is very busy these days and he carved time out of his schedule to give you his attention (and probably buy you a meal). Give him the gift of your full attention. It's incredibly rude to check your texts and voice mails, let alone take a call. It might not seem like it when YOU are the one on the phone, but let him do it to you and trust me, it's going to be irritating.
- The Ex-Factor: Um. Seems obvious, but you want to at least APPEAR available. If you go on about your ex you do yourself a disservice, actually several. Regardless of how obvious it seems to you that your ex is a jerk and did everything wrong, some of your blame WILL be obvious to the other person. We are all flawed and it's fine once someone knows you enough to give you room for your screw-ups. But a first date is "best foot forward" time. Save the crazy for later. Secondly, it will look like he is still front of mind enough that he is your topic of conversation. Not what the new guy want to think.
- Eat: Let your appetite be reflective of your appetite. Here's why. Sensuality is wrapped up with lots of things, physicality, flirting, eye contact....food and drink are two on the list. I am NOT saying binge and PROVE you can match him drink for drink. I AM saying, be real. It works in your favor.
- Drunk = Loss of Respect: Don't think it's "cool". It's the opposite. They MIGHT see you again, but you will never be in the "serious" category you will be in the "lay" category. A first date fumble like that is likely unrecoverable. And don't throw up in his car. Also not hot.
- Don't Leave Your Brain at Home: Playing dumb is not sexy and adorable. It is dumb. Confidence is sexy. Bright is sexy. Humor is sexy. Oh my god I am so helpless and stupid show me everything because I am so frail is just pathetic. Pathetic is not sexy either. There are better ways to get attention. Be yourself and contribute to the experience. You'll both have a better time.
- My Children Are My Life: Really? Then stay home. You are not auditioning for mother. You are auditioning for position of life partner. Let me point out that your kids are in your daily life for at most 20 years. If you are planning on living 80, you may want to pay attention to your significant other. There is no need to explain what the mother/child relationship entails. Everyone's pretty up on that. Going out of your way to say, "Best case scenario, you're coming in second." doesn't feel great to anyone. Leave the kids at home.
- Be on Time: Waiting is painful. Again, does not look cool, fashionable, or anything good. You know what it looks like? Looks like you're late and can't get your cuss together to be on time. If you're going for the whole flaky vibe, late works.
- High Maintenance: Not good. What does that mean? It means don't be difficult, rude, demanding. Don't order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don't be disappointed if he takes you for tacos. Don't ask him what kind of car he drives. Do you really want him worrying about whether or not he can afford to take you out again? It's your job to give yourself the lifestyle you want, not his. Don't make him feel the financial burden of YOU on a date! Don't go on about all of the amazing places other men have taken you/things they have bought you/how much $ they made/expensive cars you like and MY GOD don't ask him to buy you anything. Seriously.
- Nobody Wants to Sex Up Frump Girl/If You're Showing Vag You're Trying too Hard: So there is a lot of gray area in between the black and the white. Let's see...be sexy, for sure. But UNDERSTATED sexy is best. What does that mean? Or better, what does that look like? It looks classy, but fitted, a little short, ABSOLUTELY high heels (this is not a PTA meeting), your BEST makeup including a smokey eye if you can do it right. I means you took care to get ready. It means you FEEL smokin' hot (but not slutty).
- Let Him Be the MAN: Aggressive and dominant don't work on a first date (unless you're being paid for it, but that's a whole different blog). You might be Ms. Ball-buster career woman at work, and god knows it takes toughness to be a single mother running a household, but you are NOT at work and no one is negotiating their interest rate tonight. Be feminine and let him be masculine. Allow the process to flow naturally. Don't steer it or push it. Don't take the lead in a kiss. Don't ask for a second date or even hint about it (it's not subtle, it's really not). You might offer to pay for your portion of the meal, but only offer once (he will 99% of the time decline), then graciously accept. Be thankful.
Once you get going you might want tips on playing the game. For tips on Sexting, Click HERE.
If You Want Your Happily Ever After to Start Now, Read More Here!
