The brain is our biggest sex organ. Technology affects every part of our life so it should be no surprise that dating is one of them. We are finding our date-able partners on-line and flirting plenty via e-mail. But if you search "sexting", you are going to see it's been tried and hung in the court of public opinion.
Obviously no sexual activity, including sexting, is appropriate for minors. And yes, these messages and/or pics are easy to forward around. But why would you be sleeping with someone you can't trust with something that simple and private. If you can't trust him enough to send him a pic, maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with him at all. Yes, the guy is out there that will secretly video-tape your encounter, but come on, are you worried about that when you are in bed with your partner? So, when we are talking about this, let's assume you have done the screening, he has made the cut, and you are not playing with the perverted jerk who is electronically exploiting you.
My guess is these tryers and hangers of the sexting game have not been in the single world for a long time (and, uh, I also venture to guess they are not having a lot of bedroom fun in the married world either). Sexting is hot, fun, and if done well, torturous foreplay. At it's lightest it can be flirty fun. At it's heaviest it can be the equivalent of phone, or maybe more like cyber, sex.
Imagine your partner is in the middle of a busy typically troublesome workday and he receives a text from you telling him that your mind is lingering on some detail of last nights sexcapade. Very sexy.
This game is just like everything else in life, know the players, establish the relationship and what is appropriate or not, and act accordingly. I think it the initial "testing" to see if you have a partner that likes to play most compares to phone sex. Throw a little line out and see if he bites and, if so, how hard. If you are dating a person who thinks sex with the lights on is edgy stuff, take it easy and be careful not to offend. But even the guy who is having sex with the lights on is having sex. Try thinking "romantic" when you are pre-sexting him, send him flirty messages about his kisses (Your kisses are addicting. Wanting you.) and see where it goes.
You can have big fun if you find a playmate and make it part of your sex-game.
12 Hot Sexting Tips
Text a memory of your last encounter, or one that was particularly hot.
Text a message telling him you are thinking naughty thoughts and ask him what he thinks you should do about that. This takes him to a sexual place, imagining what he wants to do, not just what he's done.
Tell him you are aching for him. Take it a step further and tell him, in detail, what you are fantasizing about.
Take a sexy pic of yourself in lingerie (or 5 until you get it right and have one you like enough to send!), send it to him and ask him why he is making you (or sometimes it's hot to say "her", as in "Why are you making her") wait.
Take a nude pic of yourself (or 30, you're going to need a glass of wine) and tell him he is on your mind. Don't be too critical. Remember, all women are beautiful and he finds you very sexy. If this is scary, you can always take one without your face in the photo.
Take a picture of your bed and write something like, "Waiting of you to join me." You could prop lingerie on it. Or two champagne classes. Or rose petals on the bed.
Send him a pic of something only the two of you would know is sexual. For instance, if you made love on the picnic table out back, send him a pic and tell him you cannot wait to picnic again.
Snap a pic of a sex toy or lube.
Buy a pair of sexy panties (or do this with the pair of your own he lusts the most after), take a pic of them without you in them and tell him you are wearing them right now.
Find out what one of his fantasies is (hot cop, sexy nurse, Princess Leah, french maid, school girl), dress up and send him the pic.
You can up it all the way and take a short video clip of something you might normally do in private.
Sometimes the hottest, sexiest things are the ones that don't show or tell much, but send his mind racing. Letting his own imagination fill in the blanks will allow him to spark a mental image that he finds incredibly exciting.
Have fun with it, be creative. Notice what words or pics make your partner particularly excited (everyone has a hot button) and use them. But, just like all thing sexual, if you use sexting too frequently, it loses the titillating naughtiness of it. So be careful to make it infrequent enough that it continues to be a surprise. There is something very enticing to us about the forbidden. If you can send him something that he feels he has to hide or sneak to the bathroom to look at, you are playing a hot sex-game that will have him looking for ways to get back to you asap.
Sexting is modern day tool that you can use to increase desire, all day foreplay. Part of creating and keeping a hot sex life is to keep the burners on low all the time. If you have to start from cold, it never gets as hot. So keep your foreplay fun and thread it into his day. He won't be able to get enough of you!
Need more help? Check out the newest writing guide for teasing your man's sexual side.
